Spiritual Dryness: Why Men Must Stop Trying to Fix It Alone

Spiritual dryness rarely ends because a man tries harder; it ends when he admits he cannot fix it alone and chooses to surrender to God. That was the heart of a recent conversation on Wrestling with the Inner Man, where David L. Savage, founder of The Savage Path Ministries Corp, sat down with author Eli Brackenbury. Their message is simple and hard: surrender is not quitting, it is the first honest step toward becoming a whole man.

Eli Brackenbury is a father of three, an environmental health and safety professional, and the author of Finding God at 50: A Mid-Life Awakening to Grace, Purpose and Presence. For decades he faced divorce, grief, and a restless string of careers with his hand raised in the air, telling everyone around him, "I got this."

David opened the episode by naming a battleground most men recognize: long seasons of spiritual dryness, and for some, a full midlife crisis of longing for something more. At a Walk to Emmaus retreat, David learned that some people are wells and some are deserts, and men who stay in the desert too long grow bitter. What Eli learned about surrender, identity, and the midlife wall points to one truth: the man who stops fighting alone is the one who finally starts winning.

Why Is Surrendering Control to God Actually a Strength?

Most men hear the word surrender and picture a white flag. Eli Brackenbury saw it the same way for years; surrendering control to God sounded like giving up the steering wheel. Men are wired to fix things, and nobody enjoys a struggle that points out where he falls short.

So Eli tried everything else first, and the years of spiritual dryness piled up. He tried counseling, therapy, and self-help books, and worked through a résumé he calls ridiculous: cook, tow truck driver, repo man, consumer finance, mortgage broker, nurse, and finally safety. Looking back, he realized he was drifting toward an identity he had built himself rather than the one God designed for him.

Nothing dramatic forced the change. One day Eli simply decided he had tried everything else, so he would try surrendering control to God. Psalm 46:10 showed up on his TikTok feed, telling him to be still and know that God is God, and he believes that verse was preparing his heart for a complete restructuring.

What surprised him most was how it felt afterward. Instead of weakness, surrendering control to God became a strengthening moment; he found direction, purpose, and what he calls the rudder that was always meant for his ship.

Today, write down one area of your life you keep trying to fix by force, then spend five quiet minutes with Psalm 46:10 and hand that single area to God by name.

Where Does Finding Identity After Divorce Really Begin?

Eli Brackenbury has been divorced twice, after marriages of six years and nineteen years. David L. Savage knows that road too; he was handed divorce papers he never saw coming and lost his married friends almost overnight. Anyone who has lived it knows that finding identity after divorce is not a weekend project.

Eli refuses to play the victim in his own story. He owns his failures as openly as his successes and holds no animosity toward his former wives, who have both found happiness. He admits he was forcing something that did not fit, like a square peg pushed into a round hole.

For Eli, finding identity after divorce started with a promise he made to God in his kitchen: he would fall in love with God before he fell in love with anyone else. Around the same time, a woman he first met in 1986 prayed that she could not do life on her own anymore and chose to surrender to God. A few days later his message arrived, a walk in the park stretched to four miles, and Christ became the third strand in their rope.

A new marriage does not fix an old wound. Finding identity after divorce begins when a man stops asking a spouse, a career, or a salary to tell him who he is. God wants you as you are; you do not have to clean the house and put on a tuxedo before you come to Him.

This week, name one failure from your past out loud to God and to one trusted friend, owning your part without excuses or blame.

Can a Midlife Faith Crisis Become a Turning Point?

David asked Eli why so many men hit a spiritual wall in their 40s and 50s. Eli pointed to the empty nest: after 18 years of parenting, the kids leave and a man wonders what his purpose is now. Without a relationship with Jesus Christ, he will try to answer that alone or let the world answer it for him, and both roads lead to spiritual dryness and a midlife faith crisis.

David L. Savage sees the same pattern in his men's group. Too many men decide they already did their part, and now they just play golf or fish without real meaning. Yet many of the main characters in Scripture began their most significant work late in life, which means a midlife faith crisis can be an opening chapter rather than the final one.

Eli described God as the Bob Ross of his life, taking a blank canvas and painting something beautiful. He never imagined becoming a faith-based writer, yet that calling arrived only after he chose to surrender to God. His wife's former husband later admitted he wanted what they had and started watching The Chosen, crying through every episode.

That is what a restored man looks like. Eli describes a fracture that never got set right, so a man walks with a slight limp while the devil whispers that he can fix it himself; meanwhile God stands at the door, waiting to be invited in. A midlife faith crisis faced honestly becomes the place where a man stops performing and starts building a legacy his kids can see.

Before the week ends, answer one question in writing: what am I still trying to prove, and who am I trying to prove it to?

What Happens When You Stop Trying to Fix It Alone and Surrender to God?

David L. Savage pointed to his friend Dwight Edwards, author of Revolution Within, who describes what a man receives when he claims Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. These four gifts explain why men who stop trying to fix it alone experience transformation, not just improvement.

• 1. A New Creation
  What It Means: Your sins and wounds are washed away, just as baptism pictures.
  
  Why It Matters: You are no longer defined by your worst chapter.
• 2. A New Identity
  What It Means: God builds the identity He designed for you, not the one you patched together.
  
  Why It Matters: Your job, car, and salary stop being the measure of your worth.
• 3. A New Disposition
  What It Means: You begin to actually want to walk away from sin.
  
  Why It Matters: Change starts on the inside, not through willpower.
• 4. The Power of the Holy Spirit
  What It Means: You receive strength that is not your own.
  
  Why It Matters: Someone is in the boat with you in every storm.

A few practical ways to stop trying to fix it alone this week:

• Be still with Psalm 46:10 for five minutes before you check your phone
• Name one buried wound or fear and bring it to God in prayer
• Tell one trusted brother where you are struggling instead of saying "I got this"
• Ask what God wants in each interaction, not what makes you look good

Men Everywhere Are Walking Out of the Desert

Maybe you have spent years in spiritual dryness, fighting the same battles alone and wondering why trying harder never seems to work. You are not the only one; men all around the country, from big cities to small towns, are discovering that the choice to surrender to God is where real strength begins. Wherever you are reading this, there is room for you on this path with brothers who refuse to drift.

You Were Never Meant to Fight This Alone

Eli Brackenbury closed the episode with words every tired man needs to hear: you are not losing because you are weak; you are losing because you are fighting from the wrong identity. Spiritual dryness does not have to be the end of your story, and the choice to surrender to God is not giving up but finally coming home like the prodigal son. God is not asking you to be perfect; He is asking you to be present.

Take one step toward seeing where you are drifting with The Savage Path Assessment and take the next step here.

You do not have to figure this out alone, so reach out to David and his team through the contact page and connect here.